mary: ([tsn] comic)
Gawker mocks TSN fic, includes excerpt from one of my vampire stories

and it's, like, probably the absolutely least weird story I wrote in that fandom. Which is hilarious to me. Do your homework better, Gawker!

Seriously though this has put the biggest smile on my face, on a day when I really needed something to smile about. I'm finally one of those weird internet fanfiction perverts that the mainstream media likes to mock! Yessssss.
mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
Reposting this from tumblr on account of how fast content gets lost in the shuffle over there, and because after ten years I'm pretty deeply in the habit of posting ficcish stuff to lj.

So herein lies a scribbly half-ficlet I dreamed up this morning. Literally. I had an Eduardo/Marilyn dream. (note: I think on reflection she spells it Marylin but that is way too close to my own name so I'm not going to go through and change it because it'd be a little weird for me.)

SO UM HERE. Read more... )

……… and then I DON’T KNOW but somehow it would all end in Mark/Eduardo/Marilyn because THAT IS JUST THE WAY I ROLL.
mary: Graffiti reading "your heart is a weapon the size of your fist. Keep fighting. Keep loving" ([misc] the heart is a weapon)
Hullo! It has been a while! I am sorry about that. I've been a bit all-over-the-place with nothing much useful to say, aside from endless tumblr-spams of gifs from The Social Network because augh, I love them so and I seemingly never stop having new thoughts about all the ways in which I love them, which I guess means that those Oscars it won were well-earned.

I've hit 25,000 words on Next Novel, which would be cause for more celebration if I hadn't started it in April. I know I've had the winter blues and also those good old-fashioned crazybrain blues, but come on.

(though now that I think about it I've also had a death in the family and enormous amounts of work stress, so I don't know, I guess 25,000 words is okay when I am so far out of my comfort zone with regard to genre and plot on this one. Still incredibly frustrating though, especially when the story I finished before this one is still in no-publisher-limbo and I remain solidly convinced that I will never be a successful writer ever no matter how hard I want it.)

But yeah, day job, man, it's been pretty soul-devouring lately. I'm burned out to the point where I don't even properly feel sad or stressed or exhausted anymore, I just feel like I wish I didn't exist. And I don't want to quit, because I know being the editor of a national publication before I'm 30 is something that no sane (or high-functioning crazybrain, in my case) person walks away from just because it's intense, especially not in a job climate like this. But it's really intense. I was sitting in the board room surrounded by print-outs of articles to proof yesterday and just crying, because I'm in so far over my head and I don't even have the energy to tread water, much less swim for shore.

Um, HAPPIER THINGS! Let's see. I no longer have a credit card, because I am going to actually Be Responsible With Money. Or at least make an effort in that direction. I've gained some weight, which I dislike, but I have a pretty new tattoo on my arm which I like, so that balances out for the most part.

I have been watching a fantastic anime called Tiger and Bunny with Audz and Erinna, and highly HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who loves superheroes. Even if you're not an anime person usually, give it a look, because it is so fucking good.

I have mostly broken up with DC Comics because they finally hit a point of fuckbaggery where I was too worn out with their shit to protest and have negotiated readings and all that other fan engagement possible with problematic texts. Congratulations, DC, you can go join Supernatural in the corner and think about just how misogynistic you have to be to drive away someone who cannot stop talking about The Social Network. Because, that is a fairly high bar of dickbaggery you have to be able to jump over, and you managed it!

Saw Captain America on the weekend and was excitedly planning out a sequel to Rescuers with Audrey before we were out of the parking lot. So, uh, that will be coming eventually! When I have braincells to stop squealing over Audrey's preliminary sketches and actually write the rest of the words to go with the pictures. Marvel movies, man. I dig them.

Speaking of, Spider-Man! I am excited about it! Because, you know, young wisecracking superheroes are kind of a thing for me. But also because it leads to things like this because I mentioned that I'm still kind of one-track-minded, right? And while being a long-time bandom-er means that I am more than used to the fourth wall not existing in the slightest, I still find it entertaining every time the flimsy construct/reality division we rely on in order to stay sane in real-people-based fandoms starts breaking down. The dream is collapsing! Anarchy in the streets! Flee for your liiives!
mary: A picture of a woman sitting in front of a stained glass window, from Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds (Default)
I saw Harry Potter yesterday and blubbed like a blubbery thing. And when I got home afterwards I was tumblring lots of Remus Lupin-related stuff, because I love him forevers and evers. And that made me remember the Aesop fable of the Dog and the Wolf, which I first read for Sirius-and-Remus related reasons back in the day, but came to love for completely unrelated reasons.

Here's the version of the fable of the Dog and the Wolf, as I retold it in the still-homeless New Novel:

"A wolf was walking down the road, coat thin over bone and skin and not much else. The wolf was starving. Then he met a dog, sitting by the side of the road. The dog was fat and sleek and happy.

"'Wolf," the dog said. 'You look miserable.'

"'I am miserable," the wolf answered. 'I haven't eaten for days.'

"'Come home with me. There's plenty to eat there,' the dog said. 'You won't be miserable then, will you?'

"'I'm tired, as well as hungry,' the wolf answered. 'I haven't slept for days.'

"'Come home with me. There are soft carpets at the fire,' the dog said. 'You can rest after you've eaten.'

"'All right,' the wolf answered. 'But tell me, dog, why is the fur at your neck worn away? You've heard my troubles, please tell me yours.'

"'Oh, that,' the dog said. 'That's nothing. My fur is worn where my collar rubs, that's all. You'll have one just the same, when my master's met and fed you.'

"And with that, the wolf walked away. For it's better to be hungry and tired and free than to be fat and sleek and at a master's mercy."

The fact I have one of the characters tell the story in New Novel shows how relevant I think it is to the particular themes and metaphors and whatever that are present in that story, but while I was randomly poking at tumblr last night I realised how it also overlaps with this remark I made a couple of days ago -- that Glinda and Charles and Eduardo all go to the same group therapy session each week. It’s called "I don’t understand why my decision to compromise constantly because I want to belong to the oppressive status quo made my bff/true love so CROSS, you know?"

It's dogs and wolves. It's Mark in the hallway, admitting that he needs Wardo in Palo Alto. Elphaba pleading with Glinda to think of what they could do, if Glinda came with her. It's Erik on the beach telling Charles that he wants him by his side. The wolf can't make itself tame, but neither can the dog make itself wild.

And it's kind of ironic that Sirius and Remus, the only literal dog/wolf pair in my large stable of angsty pairings of my heart, are symbols of depression and of illness and stars and moons and whatever, rather than representing the obedience/freedom dynamic that tears apart the others.
mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
Wtfbrain told me of a Lie To Me episode that was also TSN-based, and so I have some more picspam nonsense to now impart.

Remember how there was no Wardo on Criminal Intent? Well, Lie To Me makes up for it by having two. Oh, I'm sure this is going to end well for EVERYONE.

You better lawyer up. )

In other news!

Newsarama has a list of Comics Deaths That Still Matter, and they mention Project Girl Wonder. They make it sound like Steph wasn't ever intended to be for-reals dead though, which um. We saw her autopsy, dudes. Lady was a ghost in Batgirl. That's not a fake-out death, that's a retcon.

Fact of the moment: I hope that some day I write a book which can, like this one, be advertised with the teaser "Can a sheltered faun and a grumpy werewolf scientist have a future together?". AMAZING. I'm totally going to buy that story just as soon as I have cut down my to-do list sufficiently to deserve it. So in about a thousand years then.

I shall try to add more old stories to AO3 today in my breaks, but there might not be a lot of those. I feel really useless lately -- I'm not writing Next Novel fast enough, I have no idea if New Novel will ever find a home with a publisher, I keep faffing about instead of getting my Etsy stores back online, the next edition of the journal at the day-job is running hugely behind schedule and destroying me with stress, my house is a mess, and just, ugh. I am a useless person.
mary: "I need a minute to let the classiness waft over me." ([misc] social network quote)
Last night I may or may not have partially liveblogged my viewing of Criminal Intent: The Social Network Edition over tumblr. But it was so magical and wonderful and amazing that I have to share some of my screencaps and joy here as well.

mary: ([band] lltpb)
I think Next Novel is hitting its stride a bit. Still wildly unsure if it's any good, but I'm trying to leave worries about that until later. It's science ficton, sort of. It owes a lot to the John Wyndham stories I grew up reading, at any rate.

I remember reading a Neil Gaiman quote once where he said that when he was a kid, he always expected to be a science fiction author when he grew up. I was the same -- when I was wee I was certain that anything I wrote as a grown-up would be sci-fi for sure. It feels nice to be actually fulfilling that certainty, if only in a kind-of-sort-of way.

I'm sorry this journal has been All Novels All The Time recently. My fannish output at the moment hovers around the level of "Mark is an arrogant little snot and I'm not sure if I love him despite of this or because of it! Eduardo is a tiny baby and makes my heart break oh god you tiny baby why are teenagers all so teenaged in everything they doooo". Which I don't mind doing on tumblr, because tumblr is all ridiculous all the time, but over here in the land of journals there are actual posts of content and stories and thoughts and stuff, and I don't think endless posts of BOYS WHY ARE YOU BOTH SO STUPID YOU STUPID BOYS would be especially appreciated.

As a final speaking-of-novels (sorry, sorry!) remark: if people who dig my stuff want to have a look at New Novel (the one I wrote right after finishing Wolf House), hit me up at The book's currently wandering the wild uncharted lands of Looking-For-A-Publisher, and thus is still in a rough-edged and scruffy sort of form, but I am feeling restless and silly and want to throw words at people’s heads. I’m not sure if they’re very good words or not, but you’d be getting them for free so you really can’t complain if they’re only serviceable really.
mary: ([misc] being human)
Yesterday I was stuck in bed, down with the sickness, so I watched the rest of Being Human UK season 3. And then chattered at Gracie about why I was disappointed in it. Mary has dismay in blathery email form. )

So, yeah, that. Basically, what I loved about the show in season one -- and I will always adore season one -- was the "three lost monsters make a family together" aspect. That was beautiful and wonderful.

And I feel like that got thrown under the bus in favour of 'good people have hegemonic families, bad people are a threat to that' in this season. Blaaaaah.


I am at 8430 words on Next Novel, and it's still exciting and dear and fresh to me. And then in the midst of feeling all giddy I feel stupid and worthless, because. Well, because. Another email exchange with Gracie yesterday:

Mary: 6938 words blargh writing is stupid why do I do it :[
Gracie: Oh hush, you love it and you are awesome at it
Mary: No, I am addicted to it, and I do it passably because I'm well-practiced at it.

I just keep thinking about that Jesse Eisenberg quote where he's talking about how, when he was a kid, one of his therapists said to him "you deserve to be happy" and it was the best piece of advice he ever got. And I'm always like "... but I don't deserve to be happy, so that doesn't apply to me". Because I haven't done anything useful or helpful or brilliant or clever. I've read enough books that I can mimic a not-entirely-shitty format for conveying an idea through the written word, but anybody can learn to mimic, it's not exactly a remarkable talent. There is nothing about me that deserves anything. I'm not clever, I'm not funny, I'm not tidy, I can't cook, I'm not pretty, I'm not good with money. I'm useless and pathetic.


SPEAKING OF JESSE EISENBERG (well not really but BEAR WITH MY SEGUE HERE OKAY PEOPLE), I got my copy of THE MARK ZUCKERBERG COMIC in the mail and it is AMAAAAZING. AMAZING. Here are some pages and panels.


I've tried to restrain the number of pages posted, because I understand that most people don't share the sheer glee I feel over this awkward nonsense. But seriously, every page is horrible, horrible gold. MAGICAL GOLD.
mary: Comic-book image of Gerard saying 'A gazelle' ([band] gazelle)
A twitter transcript, in which Ben Mezrich -- author of The Accidental Billionaires, the book which The Social Network was based on -- suggests that he "should have written the book version of Fast & Furious Five. Zuckerberg and Eduardo in a souped up Honda with flourescent spoiler".

Tyler Winklevoss then asks Ben where he and Cameron would fit into this plot.

Ben then offers "you guys drive the rival suped up Toyota against Zuck and Eduardo in the Honda!"

And Cameron provides "I hear we ask Zuckerberg to help change our tire and he drives off with our car".

I can't even remember anymore what it's like to be in a fandom that doesn't write its own AUs.

Yep yep

May. 2nd, 2011 07:15 pm
mary: "I need a minute to let the classiness waft over me." ([misc] social network quote)
It's funny. In the past, I've always found it a little incomprehensible when people talk about how they jump straight into relationships after becoming newly single; they'll talk about how they don't know how to be alone or who they are without that context.

But today I realised that man, that is exactly me with writing. The last time I can remember being between writing projects was two weeks in 2008, between the end of writing Sharpest and when I started Origins and Overtures. Two weeks! Before that, I'm not even sure. Early 2007, I think.

And yes, this post was prompted by the fact that yesterday one -- count it, ONE -- day of soul-crushing existential pain brought on by being at home on my own and not Working On A Novel saw me give up on my plans to take a short rest between projects and instead start sketching out ideas for Next Novel.

I'm like a junkie. It's kind of sick.

So that this is not the most useless post in the history of the world ever, let's all take a moment to once again appreciate the absolute beauty that is the Mark Zuckerberg comic from Blue Water Comics. You better believe I hunted down a copy on ebay and that it's in the mail on the way to me right now.
mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
And if I can't have everything, well, then just give me a taste
by Mary
Fandom: The Social Network
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "Are you hacking into vampire mind control?"

It's just his luck, of course. Getting sick only a couple of days out from when he's supposed to fly to California. )
mary: ([band] killjoys)
by Mary
Rating: General
Summary: Saverin is usually third or fourth on the S.C.A.R.E.C.R.O.W lists that Korse himself is often first or second place on.

keep running )
mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
Into the Void
by Mary

Notes: this is for bloodygoodgirl and frog4, who are both so much more excellent than me and do not lose their phones in foreign countries. Bloodygoodgirl brainstormed some of this nonsense with me in an Irish pub, and frog4 smiled and nodded and didn't stab us, so both of them are A+ excellent. Also this thing is a hot mess and it's two in the morning but I will never do this idea proper justice no matter when I write it, so it might as well be now.

Rating: General

Summary: Henley is a Firefly class ship and Dustin Moskowitz is her pilot.

Read more... )


Apr. 8th, 2011 05:58 pm
mary: ([keywords] grow up so fast)
hi journal sites it's 2:42am in Chicago and jetlag has had me awake for the last couple hours. I love this city and i love my friends but those are posts for another time because for now i have just finished listening to the social network soundtrack yet again on my mp3 player and think i have a good metaphor to explain why the film has hit me as it has.

My favourite oscar wilde quote - which i am probably botching - is 'from the wildness of my wasted passion i had struck a better, clearer song'.

Now, wilde was obsessed with the romanticism of greek tragedy before his trial - it was part of what made him make the choices he made. He thought a sad, poetic ending to his great love affair proved its profundity and truth.

But then he grew up. And he struck a better, clearer song.

The actors and crew etc of tsn describe the story as 'very greek' a lot. And it is. In ways pre-jail oscar would have soundly approved of.

But we never get the better, clearer song at the close, we don't get a realisation of the downside of being in a greek epic. Not that the film has any reason to offer this - it's only my love of the wilde quote that makes me want or expect any such resolution.

But every time 'hand covers bruise' reappears on the soundtrack it's quieter, more distant. Behind more static.

Mark never gets his clearer song. And so i keep on turning the movie over in my head, unresolved.
mary: "I need a minute to let the classiness waft over me." ([misc] social network quote)
Somewhat Damaged

A Social Network / DC Comics crossover

by Mary

(The people who are to blame for this know who they are AND I HOPE THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.)

Rating: General audiences.

Summary: Jason Todd steals Mark Zuckerberg's tires.

Read more... )
mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
When not working on New Novel or doing day-job work, I have basically lived and breathed Mark/Eduardo nonsense for the last month, because that's how I roll. Here are some of the stories I have loved so far!

Actual books

The Facebook Effect by David Kirkpatrick, aka The One Mark Helped With.

The second half, once Facebook becomes a proper flourishing business, is very dry and full of details of shares and stocks and more background company structure about the creation of Farmville than any sane person will ever need in the universe, goddammit. But the first half is full of ridiculous gold about a bunch of kids who were too clever and too irreverent for anyone's good.

The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich, aka The One Eduardo Helped With.

I'm not actually all the way through this one, because I can only read a few pages at a time before I have to go read fanfic instead. This is the book that The Social Network is based on. Sometimes I post pages from it to my tumblr. It's an interesting read, rather than an enjoyable one per se, for me. But I'm still including it here.

And now, the fanfiction!

Warning: some of these are works in progress! I know there are people who don't like that.

I'll include trigger warnings where appropriate.

Read more... )

mary: ([tsn] eduardo bathroom)
I've sent about the first 30,000 words or so of New Novel to Audz and Erinna and Gracie for them to read, and they seem to think it is okay! Of course, they are biased, as I drilled holes in their brains to make them my rentboy zombie slave friends, but still. It's always nice to hear positive responses. Now I have an incentive to make the rest vaguely readable, woo!

Speaking of my excellent friends, sometimes I say things on the internet, like

"Seriously you don’t want to know how many idle daydreams I make up on the train ride to work which involve Alexander from The Wolf House and post-depositions Wardo becoming international entrepreneur beffies. It’s my headcanon for the backstory to that fic without a proper title that I wrote."

And then tonight, because Audrey loves me and wants me to be happy, she sent me this )


(accurate depiction of my current emotional state with regard to WHY IS THIS A THING WHICH DOESN'T EXIST OUTSIDE MY RIDICULOUS BRAIN OH GOD)

Seriously I have a) the best friends and b) the worst brain.

mary: ([tsn] mark eduardo)
Sometimes I tell friends little stories set just after the end of The Social Network.

Nothing much else to add. I love working on Current Novel but a) it will never be finished, b) it will never be good, and c) it will never be published. Blaargh. But! It's fun. I'd say that's the important thing but fun is a deeply under-valued commodity by those who judge success, so.

Edit: shit. Tumblr link has a glee spoiler for latest episode. Sorry to anyone who saw. :(
mary: A picture of a woman sitting in front of a stained glass window, from Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds (Default)
I'm still devouring social network fic like it's going out of style (which one could argue it probably is, since movie fandoms usually make mayflies look long-lived, alas), and one thing I think is interesting is what I don't see in the genderswap stories.

Because there's the "I love you just the way you are, hoodies and flip-flops and all" trope, of Eduardo not caring about how girl-Mark looks. And trust me, I totally get the need for emotional comfort and sweetness in this fandom. Without fic to read I think the movie would have been unbearably sad for me.

But a part of me can't stop thinking about the ways in which a genderswap version of tsn -- aside from, hopefully, getting rid of some of the original text's misogyny -- would be a great way to examine the conservative/progressive, hegemony/revolutionary dichotomy that's at the heart of why Mark and Eduardo fall apart.

Because if they're girls, and Eduardo is still dressed nicely and trying hard to play the corporate game and climbing social ladders, and Mark is still wearing sandals in the snow and eating twizzlers as if they're a food group and being a complete shit when meeting with potential business partners... that makes the way they can't see eye-to-eye so politically charged, so potentially fascinating.

Like, Eduardo plays by all the rules, the rules, the dress-nicely be-polite rules, even though she's so smart she can make money from oil investments by charting the weather. She's as clever and offbeat and nerdy as Mark but doesn't let herself be that, doesn't pick apart the choice of background videos at pathetic parties or blog nasty things about exes. She behaves.

And Mark doesn't. And Mark's the one who wins. And... and I could never write this, because I really need to stop writing fic in this fandom because it's really bad for my health, ahaha. NO MORE PAIN PLEASE. But. I still think it's interesting to think about.
mary: ([keywords] grow up so fast)
In most cases he was able to simply hack in over the Web. At Lowell House a friend gave Zuckerberg temporary use of his log-in. At another house, Zuckerberg snuck in, plugged an Ethernet cable into the wall, and downloaded names and photos from the house computer network.

[...] If Zuckerberg hadn't omitted the farm animal photos, he probably wouldn't have gotten off so lightly. He apologised to the women's groups, claiming he had mainly thought of the project as a computer science experiment and had no idea it might spread so quickly.

[...] Zuckerberg was celebrating his comparatively light sentence for Facemash. The sophomore had gone out and bought a bottle of Dom Perignon, which he was exultantly sharing with his Kirkland neighbours.

- From The Facebook Effect by David Kirkpatrick (shhh yes I know I am the saddest person alive)

(but seriously. It's even more epic and shitty-teenager-y and ridiculous than the movie made it. What an amazing little snot, AMAZING.)
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